I know ive said this to everyone who has breathed the same airspace as me in the last few days but dammit Mcdonalds you need to get your shit together.
I went in to a McDonalds establishment the other day at 10:31 according to the store clock and I ordered a mcmuffin, the thing behind the counter looked over at the clock, shook her head and said we stopped serving to half past ten. What kind of hateful super bitch to you have to be to deny someone a breakfast because he was a minute later. Why can't you just make me one? I know you have the shit back there! It's not like you paved over the grills at dead on had past and sent all the breakfast stuff to an undisclosed location to be re delivered in time for breakfast the next day. Whilst were at it why can't I have sausage and bacon on the same barm? They belong together, nature put them on the same animal, but McDonalds aren't willing to put them on the same butty?
In the same establishment a few days later and ordered a plain big mac. The conversation went like this.
Me "can I have a plain big mac please?"
McTill monkey "would you like cheese on that?"
Me "no thanks, just plain"
McAss wipe "would you like Mayo on it?"
Me "no thanks, plain"
McFuck knuckle "any sauce?"
Me "what part of plain do you not understand?"
McRetard "so nothing on it then?"
Me "just bread and burger"
McPinJustMcDropped "oh. Right it will be with you on about 5 minutes then"
My big mac came...bread, burger...and SALSA. that's right salsa. A) I didn't know Mcdonalds did salsa and B) there should have been no moist condiments near my burger. I could understand if I ordered it with Mayo and they just reached for the wrong bottle...but there should have been no moisture near it. McSaturday staff need sorting out.
So I'm boycotting Mcdonalds.
It's that simple.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Thursday, 24 June 2010
bleak bleak bleak
owing to my belief that there are far too many nice people being nice about things that are apparently nice, i have decided to begin this blog to throw off the shackles of socially enforced philanthropy and thrust my bleak view on most things upon you bored readers. chances are i wont be writing about things i enjoy in this blog, because everyone knows a good film or a good novel and there is no pleasure to be had in reading how amazing i think fleetwood mac's rumours album is. so its bleak bleak bleak from here on it. enjoy
With that sentiment over I'd like to begin with the film adaption of the video game character Prince of Persia. while the storyline is completely original there are certain elements that hark back to Disney films of yore. the most blaringly obvious in my opinion are the similarities it shares with The Lion King, in particular the plot involving Dastan, Nizam and King Sharaman is seriously deja vu inducingly similar to the scenario's presented to Scar, Simba and Mufasa. the rebel son, the mischevious unlce and the wise father, as the story unfolds yet more similarities unfold. my favourite being the uncle killing the father and convincing the masses that the son is responsible for his death, oh and both murders were motivated by a desire to be king of whatever kingdom they occupy.
sometimes it's difficult to concentrate in the actual storyline due to the almost life changingly awful acting by Jake Gyllenhaal. He is the personification of marmite in the acting world, capable of giving truly great performances as evident in Brokeback Mountain, but also truly woeful displays of 'acting', such as the overwhelmingly dull Donnie Darko. Throughout the course of Prince of Persia Gyllenhaal doesn't so much deliver the lines as vomit them in aggressive lumps onto the viewers face, before taking a step back and admiring his work smugly. if you somehow manage to wade through the myre of semi digested script spewed out by our beloved prince you are then subjected to the oddly irritating voice of Gemma Arterton. Arterton is an actress i truly admire, not just because she is the modern day equivelant of a siren portrayed in homers Oddesey, but also because she is capable of delivering sterling performance after sterling performance. i am under the assumption that she was possesed by a cheese grater during some of these scenes because her voice is borderline aural assault.
once youve built up a tolerance to the afore mentioned problems you can start to enjoy the film you are being subjected to. the most pleasing aspect for me was the 'swooping' camera shots reminiscent of the videogame, and as a former hardcore gamer, this genuinely excited me. overall its worth a watch if you have free tickets or something but i wouldnt rush out to see it anytume soon, wait for the dvd release and con a friend into renting it.
oh and if your the sub human scum who threw water at me on my way to the cinema i sincerely hope all your itches are unreacheable from now untill the end of your days.
With that sentiment over I'd like to begin with the film adaption of the video game character Prince of Persia. while the storyline is completely original there are certain elements that hark back to Disney films of yore. the most blaringly obvious in my opinion are the similarities it shares with The Lion King, in particular the plot involving Dastan, Nizam and King Sharaman is seriously deja vu inducingly similar to the scenario's presented to Scar, Simba and Mufasa. the rebel son, the mischevious unlce and the wise father, as the story unfolds yet more similarities unfold. my favourite being the uncle killing the father and convincing the masses that the son is responsible for his death, oh and both murders were motivated by a desire to be king of whatever kingdom they occupy.
sometimes it's difficult to concentrate in the actual storyline due to the almost life changingly awful acting by Jake Gyllenhaal. He is the personification of marmite in the acting world, capable of giving truly great performances as evident in Brokeback Mountain, but also truly woeful displays of 'acting', such as the overwhelmingly dull Donnie Darko. Throughout the course of Prince of Persia Gyllenhaal doesn't so much deliver the lines as vomit them in aggressive lumps onto the viewers face, before taking a step back and admiring his work smugly. if you somehow manage to wade through the myre of semi digested script spewed out by our beloved prince you are then subjected to the oddly irritating voice of Gemma Arterton. Arterton is an actress i truly admire, not just because she is the modern day equivelant of a siren portrayed in homers Oddesey, but also because she is capable of delivering sterling performance after sterling performance. i am under the assumption that she was possesed by a cheese grater during some of these scenes because her voice is borderline aural assault.
once youve built up a tolerance to the afore mentioned problems you can start to enjoy the film you are being subjected to. the most pleasing aspect for me was the 'swooping' camera shots reminiscent of the videogame, and as a former hardcore gamer, this genuinely excited me. overall its worth a watch if you have free tickets or something but i wouldnt rush out to see it anytume soon, wait for the dvd release and con a friend into renting it.
oh and if your the sub human scum who threw water at me on my way to the cinema i sincerely hope all your itches are unreacheable from now untill the end of your days.
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